Miss Iz - cleft lip

Today I've decided to start composing a post I never thought I'd write. One about my beautiful little girl, and our 'journey'! I'm not sure I'll even post when I get to the end, but we'll see.

We found out we were pregnant with Miss Iz in Sept 2012. We'd lost a baby during pregnancy back in April, so she was a much longed for addition to our lil family.

I was monitored senseless after a premature birth with Mstr J, and losing my next.  I was on all sorts of medication & pessaries. Not a fun start to a pregnancy, but a necessary one for me. & if it was gona help me get my precious baby, I would do anything.

Other than the crazyness of medication & monitoring, everything was going pretty smoothly.  That was until my 20 week scan.  I told the scanner how we hoped for a girl to go with Mstr J. She did her job, then went to the computer. I remember thinking, 'well, tell me then'.  She came & sat down next to me & told me I was getting my little girl, I was happy, but in a millisecond I could feel that instinct of a 'but' coming my way.  She then told me from what she could see my baby girl was going to have a cleft lip & palate. I sobbed!!! I was devastated.  Not knowing what this meant for my baby I left in pieces. She booked me for an emergency scan at the hospital the next day.

I did what most of us would, & went home & googled it! Bad move! I spent the night varying from "she's fine, we can do this", to the opposite of reading things about how she would have various other problems, deformities, mental issues & be a very sick baby! I was scared to say the least. & the good old 'why me!' Came out a number of times. We'd been through hell to get Mstr J, nearly lost him a number of times. Lost our next baby, & now this!! Did I really deserve more!!!  I cried myself to sleep that night.

I took the next day off work so I could go to my appointment & get my head round things a bit.  I laid on that scanning bed almost in tears the whole time.  The scanning specialist told me how she would do a more detailed scan of her heart & brain as cleft babies often have more problems in these areas. It felt like it lasted hours & I watched every inch of movement on her face trying to gauge what she was thinking. Listening to every measurement she told the other lady, not knowing what the hell they meant, but wondering if each was a good or bad one.  Then she turned to me and said "I would like to offer you an amnio to see if there is anything else wrong with your baby, you may want to terminate the pregnancy". "WHAT" terminate?? Why? Why??  I sobbed. Then I asked her if she had seen anything while scanning that gave her concern. She said no. So I told her that there was no way I was risking losing my baby if she couldn't see anything. And I certainly wasn't going to terminate because of her cleft!!

Over the coming weeks & many more scans, they still couldn't see anything of concern to them, but told me it didn't mean there wasn't going to be anything else.  They measured the size of her cleft lip & palate & thought it would be quite large/wide.

I spent the weeks with my head all over the place. I'd go from crying days, worrying about my 'poor' baby girl. To days where I thought 'it's only a cleft, that can be fixed & she's fine inside'. I hated people calling it a 'deformity' and I still hate that word now. I asked myself all the questions under the sun. What will family think? Will people blame me? Will people think she's ugly? I'm gutted I can't breastfeed? How will I cope with comments from strangers? How will I deal with surgery? What if something goes wrong at surgery? What if she has something else wrong with her? How will I cope with feeding her? And even how would I feel? Would I find it horrible? etc? And many many more!!

I met my local cleft nurse who explained how everything would work once she was born. She provided me with a special bottle to feed her with. And she showed me pics of before & after surgery. That really helped me understand what I was dealing with. Images on google had scared me. But now, it felt real, and I could see the difference an operation could make.

Cleft lips and palates

I was still monitored for premature labour two weekly.

Through CLAPA, the cleft lip and palate charity, I was able to arrange a 4d scan for free. This was meant to help us see what our babies face would like & help us prepare ourselves a little more for birth. I don't think anything, pictures of other babies etc can ever truely prepare you, but it would definitely help a bit.  Unfortunately Miss Iz was not playing ball & decided she liked to look at my back. We couldn't really see much of her cleft.  It was nice to take Mstr J & show him that there was a baby in mummies tummy & that on the big screen was her.  He loved telling everyone after how the special camera let him see inside mummies tummy to see his baby sister!!

Miss Iz in 4d, you can just see her lip among her hiding!!

I'd be lying if I said I enjoyed my pregnancy. I spent it either worrying I would go into premature labour again, or worrying about various implications of her cleft, or what else could be wrong.

At 34 weeks I went into labour early again! Although not as early as Mstr J!  I went into triage with pains & they wanted to send me home saying they were braxton hicks!! I was in agony! I asked if I could have these pains the rest of my pregnancy as they were really bad & I wasn't sure how I'd cope. Disgruntled, the nurse said she'd get a doctor to come check me.  When the doc checked, my waters broke & I was 5cm dilated already!!  Panick stations kicked in. Miss Iz was breech, so I had about 20 doctors around me within seconds. Arranging my emergency section. I was scared. I wasn't ready, I hadn't prepared myself for my baby. Just minutes before they were sending me home with braxton hicks! What happened!!  Lying on the bed, I was freaking out, I couldn't mentally cope with the numbness.  It all flew by in at rush, and at 7.14am Miss Iz arrived. There was a scary moment of silence in the theatre as they had to help her get her breathing going, then we heard her cry. 

They brought her over and put her in my husbands arms. My god she was beautiful! I had never seen anything like it! My gorgeous baby girl looked just perfect to me! I felt relieved, the fear of how I would feel when I saw her face disappeared in an instance! And to top it off, her palate was submucous, so no need to go to nicu, she could come with mummy to the ward & be tried on bottles. As long as she coped, she could stay with mummy.

We stayed a few days while she sorted her body temperature out, but all was good.

We went back a few days later & stayed a couple of nights due to jaundice.

My baby girl a few days after we got home looking rather yellow!

I think I'll conquer the from birth story in another post as this has become quite an essay.  And Miss Iz has had quite a long rough road!  Miss Iz part 2 coming soon!

I guess my main thought in writing this was for people to understand.  Many people I'm sure have not even heard of cleft lip and palate before. And for people who are in similar positions maybe to not feel alone.  You will go through a rainbow of emotions when you find out there is/might be something wrong with your baby. But you know what, it's ok! We all have those feelings and moments. It doesn't make you a bad person for thinking of negatives. I think it's our way of preparing ourselves.

I wouldn't change my little girl for the world! She's perfect in every way! And whatever her journey may bring, the stuff we know is to come, & the stuff we don't, were in it together! My lil family! XxxX

Breakfast bake or lunch

So today I thought I'd try something new for my lunch. Yes lunch, I've called this recipe a breakfast bake, but I made it for my lunch today and it was scrummy!! Go me!

I've seen similar things made before on the tv, but since I couldn't remember a recipe, I decided to wing it with what I had & make up my own!

You'll need -

A small oven proof dish (I used a small white rectangle dish I use to make single portions of shepherds pie)

2 slices of bread

2 eggs

3 cherry tomatoes

3 bits of crispy streaky bacon

1 slice/some grated cheese

First I put oven on high. You just want a quick bake, temperature isn't paramount.

I placed 1 slice of the bread in the dish first, so it sat up the end & sides & just over half way along. Then the next slice the other end. You want to create a bowl effect with the bread. Flattening it into shape.

Next I thinly sliced the tomatoes & scattered them in.

Then the bacon. I used shop bought already crispy streaky bacon. A few slices broken into bits. Sprinkled into the bread 'bowl'.

Then I broke the 2 eggs in.

Lastly I broke up a slice of cheese & placed the bits over the top. You could always grate it on.

Now place on top shelf of oven.

Again, as I was just winging this for my lunch, I didn't time it, I just kept an eye on it for it looking like cheese had melted & eggs had cooked enough. You ideally want the yoke to be a bit soft still so you get a ooze!

When I got it out it doesn't look fancy, but I was excited to taste.

I slid it out the dish & onto my plate. Here's a picture of the result...

Well, it tasted amazing! The egg yolks oozed & the flavours were great! This would definitely make a yummy brekkie or lunch! Even Miss Iz enjoyed sharing it with mummy! She loved it & kept screeching for more!

My favourite factor is the fact you can make these as big or small as you like, ie. little kiddie sized portions!  And you can add whatever you fancy to it. Even leftovers. Some mushrooms, leftover roast potatoes, leftover chicken, anything can go.... Enjoy baking everyone!!

Aldi - Christmas in July

On Wednesday 9th July I got to attend Aldi's Christmas in July event! These events are held by companies to showcase the products & range they have coming out for Christmas! I was very excited to be asked to attend.

The event was held in a London hotel. The set up was a room by room basis. The first I entered was the homewares section. The team talked about Aldi's theory of seeing Christmas through in luxury from start to finish! Not a bad idea I think. They will be stocking luxury duvets & towels so you can wake up feeling great & starting Christmas Day with smile on your face! Luxury at a great price!

They will be selling real & fake Christmas trees this year to suit everyone tastes. They have cute reindeer planters, plants, candles, to name a few things!

My favourite in this room was the wrapping paper selection, they have something for everyone, from the luxurious looking black & gold Christmas tree design paper, cute kid designs, and my personal favourite, the Nordic designs. Lovely reindeer & tree patterns, I'll definitely be buying!

Then onto the next room. The first stand was beauty. And here's a NEWS FLASH - Aldi are going to start doing make up!!! Quality make up at bargain prices! I spent ages talking to a lady there who is a make up artist to the stars & she has added a number of the products to her box! What an accolade for Aldi! Why spend top dollar on the big names when you can get quality from Aldi! Not many brands manage to cater for my pale complexion, but she showed me a tinted moisturiser & powder that both worked great for me, I'll definitely be in there stocking up when it hits the high street!

The next stand was their weekly specials / gifts section. There's ton coming your way! Things for all the family. If you didnt get in there last year, they are bringing out another tablet! The spec has been promised to be greater than the last, but as always will keep to Aldi's great price strategy! I can't wait to see it! There was loads of tools for the men you love. And my fave, tons for the kiddies! Some awesome character pyjamas (for the Frozen fans there was a lovely set to make a little girl very happy!). And some fab character onesies! I know Mstr J will love a super hero one!  I loved the little soft dollies too. Miss Iz would love one of those!

From the first 2 rooms I was buzzing in a Christmassy excited bliss! I couldn't wait to see more of what Aldi had to offer!

The next room was the wines & spirits! Mmmmmm I couldn't wait! Most people wouldn't know the number of awards that Aldi have won for its excellent wines & spirits selection! I tried a sample of a cocktail called Cranbellini. It was not what I would have put together, but tasted scrummy! If you'd like to try it yourself you can by following the recipe below .....

The next I tried was Ballycastle! Aldi's version of baileys. It tasted lush!!! In my eyes you would never know the difference. And at only £4.29, it's a mere snip of the price of alternatives!  I also liked the look of the amaretto, I'm a big amaretto & coke fan. Only £4.99 a bottle, bargain! 

I was very lucky to meet the famous Olly Smith at the event. As not a real wine drinker I asked for him to talk me round their selection of wines & what I might enjoy! You can see from talking to him and his enthusiasm, that Olly is a big fan of Aldi wines. He suggested I try the Toro Loco rosé, at only £3.79, I'll be popping to pick one up! 

He explained how the Caversham cream sherry tasted like Christmas puddings! Im not fan of xmas pud, but at only £5.25 I will be buying a bottle for my pud loving hubby to try!

He told me about the Philippe Michel Cremant Du Jura Chardonnay (£7.29), which can stand up against others stores bottles of champers!  

The last he suggested to me was the Prosecco (£7.49). He suggested adding it to some elderflower cordial. Once we were done chatting I headed to the bar to sample it myself. True to Aldi form, it was yummy! As I said I'm not a wine drinker, but this delight will definitely be making an appearance in my home!

Aldi also have a new range of wines called the Ventura collection. These are Aldi's mid range wines, but at a mere £4.99, I call them a bargain! Worth a try if you fancy something different.

The final room was the food room! Where was hubby when u need him, he would of devoured the lot I'm sure! I spotted Jean Christophe Novelli but wimped out on talking to him! The thing that wowed me the most was the selection! I truly believe Aldi are giving other stores a real run for their money! They have it all! The luxury of five bird roasts, caviar, lobster! Down to the mini buffet items the likes of you and me would be proud to dish up to our families! Outstanding!  Talking of the buffet items, I tried my fair share! I was so impressed with the innovative creations they had come up with! I don't know about you, but I get bored of dishing up the same old spring rolls etc every time. Well, get your bottom to Aldi when they bring out their Christmas range! I got to sample duck straws, chicken pyramids, and mini Chinese steamed buns!! The likes of which I've never seen before, and I can tell you now, you will not be disappointed!

I'm feeling a little like all I'm saying is how great things tasted, but I can't lie, they really were great!

Dessert wise they have an extra special Christmas pudding coming out. Not my thing, so I didn't try it! They have some great desserts too. They have joint the trend in people wanting individual mini servings. Left in pic below. I tried the the chocolate mousse. For me it was a winner. I love chocolate (there's a shocker!), but I do find a lot of chocolate based desserts a bit rich & over kill. This was delightful! Smooth, creamy & just the right about of chocolate. Perfect in my eyes! I'll definitely be getting these, just for me! Lol. They also have the new favourite macaroons coming out. I tried a couple, & these were very tasty!

I also noticed a range of make at home cakes. I great selection. I'll definitely be trying some out with Mstr J.

I brought home some gooseberry & elderflower pies. I tried a bite & these were not for me at all. I found the flavour very odd, but hubby loved them, and destroyed the box full, so each to their own on this one.

At the end they had an example of the Christmas flower bouquet. For a mere £10 you got a huge bouquet of beautiful flowers! I just hope they can get such beautiful flowers still in season by the time it gets to Christmas.

I had such a lovely time at the event and was pretty wowed by what Aldi had to offer. I think shops like Aldi get a bad running as people see them as a bit 2nd rate & bargain shopping. But they are definitely giving their critics a swift one round the chops! They're bringing out all the stops & screaming from the roof tops, 'we're here & we can offer what other stores can & more, & all for a great wallet saving price!'  All I can say is, "go Aldi!"   

Keep an eye out for on sale dates & get to the stores!